The Cougar Of It All

Is it just me or have I suddenly become an undeniable magnet for much younger men? Seemingly out of nowhere, there's an influx of cute, slightly awkward but undeniably sexy, 20 something guys in my office who seem to hang on my every word, walk by my office for no apparent reason, and throw off handed compliments at regular intervals. My mum remembers the same happening to her around 40. Though not husband material by any stretch, those young 'uns hold an undeniable appeal. Raw, unformed, and full of testosterone, they have the ability to put a grown woman - me at least - very much in touch with her most base urges.

About this time last year I dipped my proverbial pen in the company ink - namely a several month affair with my boss's 26 year old assistant which was some of the hottest sex I've ever had. Until we both got emotionally involved. So I ended it. Then re-started it. Then ended it again. You think it's hard breaking off a normal relationship? Try one with the guy who sits outside your office door, the one you have to interact with 70 hours a week, the one you used to steal kisses with in the womens bathroom.

I finally got over it after a trip to London where I promptly fell into bed with yet another near-minor. This time my l'enfant terrible turned up in the form of a 24 year old kid from Glasgow and so started an entirely new and sordid affair... heck if "the one" can't be bothered to show up, I might as well have some fun in the meantime. While the sex wasn't quite as good as with office boy, here was a guy, a working class laborer with the bluest eyes I have literally ever seen, who showed up, without games, armed only with adoration, affection and a willingness to open up his heart as much as our week together would allow. Or it might have something to do with the fact that he was just so damn young, so young in fact, that love and life had yet to reach into his chest, rip out his heart with a spork, and it eat for sport. He was pure. And hot.

Actually if I'm to be honest, he was rather inexperienced and putting my sexual prowess and experience to good use was rather sexy. Sometimes it's just more fun to rock someone else's world, which in turn rocks your own and so the cycle of well being continues. Everybody wins.

I once read that older women and younger men are biologically wired to have off the charts sexual chemistry, so really it should come as no surprise that it often does. Something about women gaining more testosterone and subsequently reaching their sexual peak, while those unformed, nearly-men operate at about the same hormone levels. All in all, a good match. At least physically.

While I don't know how much any of the above holds true, what I do know about affairs with much younger men is that they tend to end in frustration. They're great in the beginning while the sex is good. Inevitably, the contrast between what you really want (the husband) and what you've got lying in your bed (usually dressed in a Hollister t-shirt and sports-ensignia boxer shorts) gets too massive, and you end up resenting them for not being able to be anything more than a good fuck. You don't mean to, and you swear at the outset your expectations are minimal and will stay that way. Because after all, they are technically young enough to be your son - that is, if you were a total slut by the age of 14. The truth is, the emotional, biological need to have a real mate, and kids, and a solid partnership that comes with being in your 40's ultimately outweighs the Big O. It rears it's ugly head eventually and the expectations put on a man who is unable to meet your needs,becomes too much weight for either of you to bear. You become his nagging mother, and he pulls away, wondering where his "I'm Hot For Teacher" fantasy went. It went in the toilet, kid. Biology is a mother fucker.